Whatogamy: When do you take off the condom? (Short Story)

“And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
I know what you like
Everything you love
I know what you like
Everything you love
And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
And I Know And I Know
I know what you like ….HOV
Baby you love ….HOV
Baby you love ….HOV
Baby you like ….HOV”

The bass was so heavy and so deep, they could feel it in their chests. Jay-Z and Pharell felt like the third and fourth person in the room with Emily and Negus, who had played phone tag and instant messenger love connect most of the day, creating the crescendo of emotions that were spilling over them at that very moment. She knew Negus was coming over. They’d decided that since the night before and the closer it got to the inevitable face to face greeting, the more nervous she got. She loved him. She’d loved him for seven years and had been in love with him for about four of them. It started off as simple Hi5 request, just to say hi, then a weird thing happened. They did not remain strategically placed beautiful profile photographs on each others profile page, with generic “I like walks on the beach” personal information. They became connected. Hi5’s defunctness did not quell  the reach of the world-wide web, as they followed each others lives to the next best obsession. Through the ups and the downs they remained. Each living their own lives and doing well, only with flickering what if thoughts of what ifs along the way. Whether it was fate or temptation that lead them to each other, they would never know, but they never cared to question it too much.

Negus had barely tapped on her door before she swung it back with aggression. The only thing he heard when her door opened was,

“She fiends for me nightly,
She leans for me,
Morning she rush for my touch,
This is about LUST,
Cold sweats occur when I’m not with her,
My presence is a must- must- must-
Bonita Applebum, I gotta put you on
If I didn’t when we cuttin’ the feeling would be too strong…”

He couldn’t even say hi. The moment had been about 5 years, 2 failed relationships, too many disappointments and not enough risks in the making. She didn’t say hi either…. because..

They knew, they knew, they knew, they knew, they knew…

He couldn’t grab her fast enough, she couldn’t hold him tight enough. It was a helluva way to meet again the second time for the first. It might have been the weed he smoked, the red-bull and pinehill black currant combo he drank, or the musical transition from ‘I Know’ to ‘Best I ever Had” by Drake, but everything caused this perfect harmony of sexy ambiance and motivation.

He didn’t know what to do with himself. This shit was really happening. Years of fantasizing about her at work, to the point where he couldn’t get up from his desk after they finished chatting, years of imagining her voice whispering in his ear and not the phone receiver, was upon him. Negus didn’t know if to go fast or slow. He didn’t know if to zone in or out. It was real and really happening. Was she really gonna be the best he ever had?

Emily could taste the sweetness of his drink, yet still the mint of his toothpaste and the bitterness of his high-grade. It was a  yummy cocktail.

Negus kicked the door shut and it caused the pictures on her wall to shake, as if a mini aftershock had passed. They’d both resolved that trying to figure what their  meeting would be like would be pointless, they were going to just go with the flow, which ever way the current took them. Emily’s feet hadn’t touched the ground since the front door and her back was being massaged by the semi smooth concrete wall in her living room. Random selections were booming from her Stereo, and for a few seconds of what was probably her last cohesive thought pattern, she realized she must have hit the button that caused her cd deck to skip through all 8 cds in it, and randomly pick songs. She intended on letting her mellow rap cd play, but they were being bombarded, conducted and seemingly guided by the energy of  more musical genre than she’d intended. They both moaned out in unison when the bass line for Aidonia’s ‘One Motion’ started to play.

In Negus’s mind, he had fantasized a little about making love to her slowly, but things started off raw and raunchy, and all he could think was

“There’s going to be some serious f*^kin’ tonight..”

It was downright hilarious when ” Wats Up Dats Up” came on, and they both broke out in hysterical laughter.

“Is there something you’re tryin’ to tell me”, he asked.

“I have no idea what’s going on with my stereo,” she answered giggling.

“I wanna f*^k you so bad” he said.

That was supposed to be a thought, but it just kinda came out. They never said another coherent word to each other. He moved her over to her dining table, so he could rest her down and regain his strength . Her skirt was up to her waist her vest was in a heap on the ground along with his shirt. She could see a partial smirk on the screen printed picture of Peter Tosh’s face on Negus’s t-shirt, as he seemed to peak up at them from the little discarded clothes pile they’d just created.

Emily was like movie confection. She tasted yummy and salty like cashews, and sweet like a cherry soda, and rich like a cadbury chocolate. From her lips to her lips. He didn’t even think about it, which surprised the hell outta him, because he could be such a scornful man sometimes. She wanted to swear every filthy, dutty,  sailor, ghetto, gutter snipe, vile word she could think of, but she had to try to hold it in. She was giving it up soo easy to him without a fight, she had to try to hold on to some sense of demure, though it was kind of hard to be demure with a man’s mouth all over you. Her sweaty palms slid on the smooth varnished mahogany and sweat dripped from her body creating puddles. She needed a giant coaster.

Negus tried with all his might to slow things down, but it was now far beyond his grasp. Emily started unbuckling his pants, and she slid her hands down the front. One of the swear words she had been holding got free, like animal escaping slaughter. He smirked, loving that he just made her swear. She hardly ever swore, so it had significant meaning. He helped her undo the denim and the zipper. Negus saw slight hesitation in her expression, or maybe it had been fear, so he eased back slightly, but when she slid her hand back down inside his boxers and grabbed him, he stopped wondering if she was afraid.

In one quick yank, his pants were to his ankles and then the enormity of the situation hit them. He kissed her to reassure that everything was going to be fine, but he had no idea of what was to come. They squeezed each other in a comforting hug and she could feel all of him. He noted the concern on her face.

Negus reached down for his pants and pulled out a small square packet. Emily sighed in relief, but she wondered, had he not had a condom, would she have still let him? She felt so out of control. Though he had the condom in his hand, he was beyond tempted to not use it.

“I wanna feel you,” he said.

“So feel me,” she said.

He dropped the magnum unto the hardwood floor. She was clean and so was he. For whatever reason, he was confident about that. He lifted her from the slippery mahogany table and took her back to her living room and laid her on the plush chocolate-brown carpet. Their sanity was pushed even further from them, when Juvenile came on rapping about the Rodeo, and giving her instruction to work it and twurk it…which she had every intention of doing……

The only viruses they could’ve given each other before, would’ve only crashed their computers, now should they be completely wrong about the ideas they had formulated in their minds, they would crash their lives. They couldn’t even define the status of their relationship. It was not as simple as going into their profile settings and going from single, to in a relationship, to its complicated. They were having sex without any rules or regulations, just on a wing and a prayer, with a little bit of hope sprinkled in, that their last 7 years of friendship and been the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help them God.

She’d never lied to him, nor him to her, but only she could truly know that and vice versa. It sure was funny how two grown, intellectually sound people, could rationalize not using sexual protection, just in case. How a finger between wet thighs can snuff out the light of wisdom and soft hands on a stiff c*^k, could diminish all sense and sensibilities.

Negus looked into her eyes and said,

“You trust me?”

“I do.” she replied.

No boundaries, no barriers and without fear, he went for the glory. All they cared about was that moment. They needed to release all of the frustration, passion and anxiety that had built up to that instant.

Juvenile was blazing on the track..

Yes indeed Shit chokin me (whoo)
I need a breath to breathe
Chasin’ with the hennesy now thats how a G play
Especially when them hoes shakin that ass and a DJ
Hip hop had do it big give him some leway
N security stop trippin and you niggas be easy
Yes sir its the bubble right hurr
Yall beautiful women if you insecure

[Chorus]
Let me see you work that, Twurk that, sur that cmon and do the rodeo
Let me see you bounce that, move that, do that let me see you do the rodeo
Let me see you work that, Twurk that, sur that cmon and do the rodeo
Let me see you bounce that, move that, do that let me see you do the rodeo

Was Rodeo the beginning of their monogamy, or would they remain in whatogamy limbo of clearly undefined. Questions began to loom in her mind, but she became distracted with every stroke.

What are we doing?

Do you really love me?

Do I really trust you?

Does this mean you’re my man now?

OH GOD YOU FEEL SOOO GOOD!

Why am I letting this happen?

Why aren’t we using protection?

PLEASE DON’T STOP!

I hope I’m the only one.

Monogamy was a cage that Emily wrapped herself in for protection. It was the idea of being sexually exclusive with only each other that she’d craved, more so than marriage, because she knew from first hand experience that ‘putting a ring on it’ did not put force fields around a man’s penis in regards to an outside partner. Negus and Emily had barged past all conversation, but as scared as she was, she couldn’t stop. She wanted to feel him too. All of him.

If marriage is not necessarily the magical moment to stop using condoms, outside of birth control, then when is it ok to give your all?

The questions were looming, but the pleasure was winning. Emily was in Helleaven. Negus was just in heaven……