Sometimes we get so caught up in a routine, that we don’t see things falling apart by the way side, even if the way side is just a few feet away. People can get accustomed to physical pain, uncomfortable situations, horrible jobs, unsuitable partners, anything negative, because it’s either all they know, fear of changing the known for the unknown or they truly don’t realize that their painful existence shouldn’t be their norm.
I’ve been noticing more and more, that the more I try to acquire, do for my children or my husband, or even myself, the less I truly am able to smile and enjoy the fact that I have children and a husband, that I have myself and that I am able to live my life and pursue my goals. I am grateful to have a job (that I do actually like), I even have a second job that I do from home, that I love as well, as well as my creative pursuits, but by the time I take off my co-breadwinner hat, wife hat, momma hat, I don’t sigh a good sigh, and say ‘today was a good day’ like ice-cube. I find my sighs are more like,
“I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.”
The routine was becoming too much. Lemme re-phrase that. The routine IS too much and I needed a positive change. I mean I live on a friggin’ island. People spend thousands upon thousands of dollars, to buy tickets and reserve accommodations, to experience island life and get their grooves back like Stella. How the hell does an island girl lose her groove?
I suppose the day to day mundane tasks that we have to participate in, feeling chained to our jobs
in order to sustain our existence, whether or not we are under-paid, well -paid or over-paid, most times, our time belongs to someone else and by the time we clock out, and snatch back our time, there isn’t enough time between that time and the time we gotta clock back in to make time, to truly unwind and have some down time or some me time. Or maybe we just don’t make time. We make it mandatory or compulsory to do things that are required of us by other people, but optional for some things that we should demand for ourselves. But if you don’t love yourself, who will?
I suppose my inner conflict was seeping through my pores and screaming out while my mouth felt muzzled, because my husband rescued me this past Thursday and Friday. Hell, maybe he was feeling the same way too.
Thursday afternoon, he came to my work place early and said let’s go. Usually, I’m a stickler for not letting things go over to the next day, because, I never know what shit pile of papers may end up on my desk, so the less that I have carried over to the next day, the better. Thursday, I was like whatever man. Tomorrow’s another day. I turned my deposits in early and was like .
We went to get the kids from school and then we went for a drive, just because. 😀 It was soo calming and unrushed, quite contrary to our normal morning routine. The drive was to the country, my favourite place and we went to pick guavas. Let me point out, that my shoes were very inappropriate, but they didn’t stop me.
After we got our guavas, we did some site seeing and I took pictures of random things and people like a damn tourist. On our little drive, I saw the cutest little house I’ve ever seen. It was sooo pretty.
I took some other random pictures….
By this time, I’d kicked off my shoes and gotten really comfortable and was enjoying myself immensely.
My son said he wanted to drive home, so we let him after we got off of the main road.
It was nice to just take it easy in the afternoon for a change. It was a nice way to come home.
Thursday I could sing ‘today was a good day’..
On Friday, my husband informed me early that he was going to a football game is Willikies and asked me if I wanted to come. Normally I wouldda given him a “Hell No!” because, for me watching a bunch of guys running behind a little ball didn’t seem all that exciting. If most women are honest with themselves, most sports are the equivalent of watching paint dry, unless the players look like,
However, I was so glad for the change in routine, I refused to complain. My mom picked up the kids from school, so hubby and I had time to ourselves. I did everything at warp speed at work, so that my Monday wouldn’t suck, he came to pick me up early and took me home to change into a more footbally outfit. It took me all of 5 minutes to get ready and we were on our way.
The playing field was large and there was a good crowd, but enough space for everyone to just relax. It wasn’t like sitting in cramped bleachers. Everyone either stayed in their cars, or chilled on the grass. I sat in the car for a bit at first, while my husband went and sat with his friends. I fiddled with my camera phone trying to figure out how to get it to work properly, as I normally don’t use it for picture taking purposes. As I had switched my bags in a hurry, I forgot to take out my camera so I had to make due with what I had.
After I realized what I was working with, I sighed and shrugged off that I wasn’t going to get the clearest pictures. I was still happy to be there so, whatever, I went out to join the boys and watch what turned out to be a freaking awesome game. I pulled out my Dora blanket, and became a chilled spectator.
By the end of the official time, there was no score, so there was a shoot out. Which was exciting as hell. Even I got into it. In the end Willikies beat Sea View Farm, 4-3 and needless to say, there was pandemonium on the field.
I was actually kind of bummed the game was over. I had an unexpectedly good time.
Afterwards, we went to get some fried fish, pick up the kids from my mom’s and go home. Again it was a good day. I hope to be able to make spontaneity a part of my weekly routine from now on and instead of just living to work, I will work so I can live a better, more fulfilling life.
Next on the schedule…HOLIDAY..