One Love or One Drop,….

I try not to get caught up in celebrities and the silly unnecessary drama that seems to follow them, but this one keeps coming across my page anytime I go online. Now lil Miss. Halle ‘Makemefeelgood’ Berry of Monster’s Ball, is in a bit of a quandary, due to her current custody battle with her white baby daddy.  As a parent, I feel strongly about getting children caught up in adult matters, but unfortunately, due to the celebrity of her parents, what their daughter doesn’t know now, she will know when she can read.  Question. Are we really still this colour conscious? Are we undercover racists?  Have we really truly progressed ? I mean America got a black president. Well sorta. LoL.

The whole race and colour issue hits home to me. HARD. Harder than I cared to admit many times. I had to reprogram myself in my early twenties,(proud to say that I didn’t need a therapist). Halle’s issue is that the child’s father, who is white, is a racist, (so she says),and hates that his daughter is referred to as black. I cannot imagine after being in a relationship with someone for several years, that THIS can become an issue, broken up or not. Halle herself who is biracial, identifies herself as black and says she is a firm believer in the one drop rule. Now this is tricky.  I think this all depends on your physical traits. Halle Berry would have no business calling herself white, because she looks like a fair skinned black person. Black people come in all shades. Strangely enough, considering that Halle is biracial and the father  oh her child is white ,with blond hair and blue eyes, their kid looks a heck of a lot more black than I would have expected. Not even Stevie wonder would call the child white. BUT, …DOES IT AND SHOULD IT MATTER IN THIS DAY AND AGE? 

Genetics are a funny thing. I know black people of medium to dark complexion, having kids that are several shades lighter than them. The kids look like their parents, but somewhere on one of the family tree branches, a white man or white woman is in there swinging. The children  take on the traits of a grand or great grandparent, hence dark parents, light children. They are fair skinned enough to be thought biracial, but aren’t.

There are some kids with one parent black and the other white  and they appear to be more black with coarser hair. No one would think that  both of their parents were anything other than black. Example.  My stepmother is white. Lovely woman. She has 4 children with my father. Their first 2 children have Caucasian hair like their mother and her complexion as well. The last two, though fair skinned  are not as lite-brite as the first two. And I might add,.. their hair could be described as slightly nigger nappyish. So there you go. Ask all of them what race they are, they say they are black, though the last two would not be questioned.

There are people who are mixed race (black and white), but appear  caucasian with blonde hair, blue eyes, the whole shabangalang. Now, should they identify themselves as white?  If they do so, does that mean they hate their blackness?

Personally, I have never experienced racism from anybody other than a black person. There. I said it. If I have, it went over my head. I cannot recall ever feeling less than a human being, because a white person, or someone of another ethnicity, tried to make me feel inferior, because I was black. Maybe they’ve tried, but I didn’t really care enough to be hurt or notice.  However,I do know some negroes, who are a couple shades lighter than me,  that feel  their colour trumps mine. Hell ,I know a few people my shade who feel cake soap is the way to go. (Ain’t it a bitch to see black folks who can’t walk in the sun? )These days, I have to be dodging umbrella’s  when walking in St.John’s, even when the sun is shining because of all these melting people.

My own grandmother was  mixed black and portuguese. “Good Hair” fair skin, and she married the blackest man she could find. Yet,  as a child, I was constantly being told to come in out of the sun so I wouldn’t get ‘too’ black. Or people saying dumb ass shit like “ you kinda cute even though you dark”lol Wha happen?  black gyal cyarn pretty too? 😀

In a way we all have our little demons. I admit to mine. I can’t lie and say that there aren’t times I see a black man with a white woman, and I don’t get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me think, even if that bitch looked like she was run over by a mack truck, he would still rather date her than a black woman.  Funnily enough, I thought we would eventually get a black president, but I always thought his first lady would be white. There were the times when we were in school, when the popular girls or the pretty girls were vey fair in complexion with long good hair, and girls like me were the tar babies. I mean I’ve heard it all. Like I said reprogram. I’m over it. I think.:-)

We all have our preferences. Ultimately it’s nobody’s  business but the two people in the relationship. I prefer guys who have physical jobs over desk jobs. I like a guy to get sweaty and dirty, with rough hands. Hell, a white guy farming in a field would trump a black guy in a suit for me any day, so we like what we like. We shouldn’t have to keep defending our choices. But do our choices come from a deep rooted fear or some sort of self hatred? DOES COLOUR STILL REALLY MATTER THAT MUCH? Are we back to the house nigger (light skinned) field nigger (dark skinned) mentality. Maybe we never left.


About bak2moi

I am a woman trying to balance motherhood and womanhood, while pursuing her dreams. Hopefully I get to keep at least foot on the ground during the process.
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