Now I don’t,I used to, love him….

I wrote a poem a while ago called Uncomfortable, which dealt with two people who were once lovers, running into each other. There was discomfort in their meeting, but not because of a dramatic pain filled end. It was simply the case of them being separated by bad timing and circumstances beyond their control. They parted ways with love and best wishes, mixed in with a bit of yearning for one another.

See link below:

There are many factors that can lead to the end of a relationship, and in some situations, (not necessarily the norm), both parties did not really want separation to be the result, but, that’s what it worked out to be. However, life must go on, musn’t it? They do what they must and keep moving forward in different directions. So what happens when they’ve both moved on and are happy, yet cross paths physically? How about thanks to technology, when they meet in cyberspace? Sometimes, even though separated by thousands of miles, a serious connection can be made, due to the  false sense of security nurtured by the presence of distance. Inhibitions are demolished and all cyber hell can break loose.

Do you ever really get over someone in a situation like that, even if you’re happy?

It could go a little somethin’ like this…….


What’s up my love? How you been? So close but yet so far,..sometimes I just wonder where you are like Lionel Richie….. lol


You’re stoopid…lol “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” lol lmao…I’m good…I’m here in a place, trying to decide if I’m ever going to go all in with the shit that makes me happy…


My God you sound just like me….We only got one life love,…be happy, you, hell do me,..well maybe not me, u know what I mean… I was thinking about coming to your parts,…am a little scared to though. 😦


Yeah I can only circle the wagon of trying to be stable and trying to be all dreamy and shit for so long…I feel like now is a good time to be dreamy. You here scares me too btw…


maybe i’ll come and come see you the day i’m leaving to come back home…lol I don’t think we can do anything in 5 minutes…lolol


I could always take you to the airport, or you could give me a ride to the airport… 😉


LOL,..I do believe public places with plenty people will be required for me to be sure that …well you know,..I can’t even think about u without feeling dirty all over…lolol..NO RIDES or rides,..we may not wanna get off,..especially if we get off…:-) Unchain my heart mutha fucka…lol


haaha…public place, plenty of light, keep the hands where I can see them. You’re going to need to wear a big coat as well, even if it’s summer…scratch that, coats can have buttons. I’ll be in one car and you’ll be in another and we’ll just roll the windows down and wave at each other. Yeah, that’s better…….


I just got a visual of us doing that…. I don’t know if even that would work,….

We got mad chemistry and chemicals have fumes,.
Once u get a whiff of me, we gonna need to get a room,…
Even if your over there and I’m over here,
You’ll pull me back in
Like an alcoholic to a beer…

lol….. I make a rhymie… 🙂
Look I know myself,..and my memory is good enough for me to still be able to feel you inside after all these years. If that isn’t scary, I don’t know what is. Imagine I call you and tell you I’m in the same area code as you. What’s the first thing you gonna think the moment I say so? Be honest wit yaself…..


You call me up and I’m thinking…shit. I knew this day would come. I’m thinking, the last thing I need to do is see you, cause something deliciously bad is going to happen. Then, I’m thinking what if it ruins the memories…then this would be bad. Then, we can’t do this…
Then, I’m thinking when can we meet…


.…And it goes a lil sumthin’ like this.
Me: Hey,…(long pause, big smile)
You: Hi,..who dis?
Me: It’s me
You: Oh shit, fa real?
Me: Yeah (Huge fuckin’ smile)
You: Whad up? How’s the island treating you?”
Me: It was treating me good, but I’m here. (long Pause)
(heart beating like a lamb ready to be slaughtered)
You: (blink blink blink) says nothing too stunned
Me: You there?
You: Yeah. (heart beating like a lamb ready to be slaughtered)
Me: You ok?
You: I’m fine. Where exactly are you?
Me: I’m at …(gives him exact address and spot where she’s standing)
You: I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Don’t fuckin’ move. (Serious like a criminal)
Me: ok
He immediately hangs up brushes teeth..scrubs balls and gets dressed. He jumps into car and speeds out. (lol)
She is already prepared for slaughter waits impatiently.


He slowly drives up, sees her, parks car, says a prayer, exits car approaches her and she immediately starts crying. He holds her so fucking tight he gets hard. They say nothing. She get’s into the car, and he drives with one hand and holds her hand with the next. They know EXACTLY what’s gonna happen. The fire is still there,..just like the first time she slept over , but they didn’t have sex. It’s crazy like that. Their minds are void of all thought except the next couple of hours. He’s just driving around thinking he wants to be alone with her, but it can’t be at his place. He can’t risk any interruption. He wants to be where no one can find them…

How am I doin’ so far………….


Mmmm… geesus,….I’d say you’re doing pretty damn good……


Should I finish this little scenario ? Or have I made you too hot and bothered with my visual,.. cause I’m tellin’ u this is very very real to me right now… 😦


I’m curious to see where this goes…I think I was already hot and bothered a couple messages ago. Finish it!


…..He wants to go where no one can find them. It needs to be somewhere he can park his car without random eyes recognizing it. It needs to be someplace now, cause he doesn’t know how long he can have her next to him without being all over her. It’s been 100 years, 1 more minute is like an eternity.
He know’s she is not the kinda girl who needs fluff and sparkly shit to be happy and comfortable, and he knows the only impression he has to make is when he goes deep. The sun is beginning to set, and he spots the perfect place. He wishes he can hold her hand when they get out the car. It makes them both angry that they have to be kinda shady. The rationalizations begin. They knew each other before they knew them, they fucked each other before they even knew their significant others even existed. They have history. They make it alright in their minds. They get mad at them (their significant others ) for making them feel like they are creepin’. They are mad at themselves wondering why they didn’t try to make it work before. They are gonna take that anger out on each other. The woman behind the check in desk smells the lust and the fear their chemistry brings in. She looks at them with judgment.
He holds her hand in defiance. Fuck them all. Tonight she belonged to him, and him to her. No shame no fear. She holds his hand tight. They still don’t speak. They can barely look at each other, when they get into the elevator, they just keep holding hands. When they get outside the room, they know it’s now or never, turn and run now or go inside and never speak of the what is about to take place ever again. He can’t tell his best friend, she can’t tell her best friend. They defy the point of no return and cross the threshold.
She walks in, in front of him letting go of his hand and he closes the door, staring @ it trying to gather himself. Without warning he grabs her around her waist and pulls her back on him. He is hard like a steel pipe sticking out at ground zero. He forces his hand down inside the front of her Jeans, inside her underwear and she is soo fuckin’ wet it makes him swear. He doesn’t even have to un button them to get them off, he just yanks them down to the floor in one motion, and just like that, she becomes as vulnerable as she could ever be.
“It’s soo pretty” he thinks,..looking down at her naked front. (lolol)
He pulls her up against him, and she feel’s his hard through his jeans and she can’t wait to see it. It’s almost dark outside, but there is enough light to see the want and the fear in each other’s faces.

“I want you so bad,..I don’t know if I can be gentle.” He says
“Do what you want, do whatever the fuck you want”..She says……

You need to help me finish this story dahlin’,…it takes two to tango and two to finish this story….lol. Drink some Jesus juice if you must.


He begins to rub her down there, knowing at that moment there is no turning back. Her wet lips are foreign yet so familiar. Fingertips marching around her thighs thinking we’re going to need set camp soon. They can’t make it to the bed he bends her over the closest chair. Thought stops…seem to movin to a lower chakra. More animal less robot. Tonight foreplay looks alot like backshots. They’re fucking like they can hear the reggae music banging from the speakers. Her moans adding to the soundtrack. He’s looking down at her trying to contain himself, feelin like Damn, better than I remembered. Damn, it’s going to be a long night. He turns her around cause he hasn’t yet kissed those lips. She straddles him while standing up. Kissing. Fucking. Winding. Finally making it to the bed…


…..Finally making it to the bed.

“God Help me.” she whispers faintly.
She keeps her eyes squeezed shut, as if it made it more of a dream and more acceptable, easier on their conscience, if they never really looked into each other’s eyes. He’s there. He’s right there. She can hardly believe it. A few hours before, he was just a sweet memory that she would draw inspiration from, from time to time. A few hours ago she was in a different country, a different state-a-mind, a different person, somebody’s wife, somebody’s mother. Now she laid there, FULL of every engorged inch of him, and at that moment all she was, was his lover, his fuck friend to the end like Chucky. There was going to be an obscene amount of fucking that night. She knew it and he knew it.
Plenty years of catching up, plenty years of secret thoughts fantasies, shoulddas, coulddas and woulddas. plenty years of the lessons he’d been taught in how to love a woman, excite her, turn her on, fuck her senseless, make her cry, make her scream, make her beg for him to give her a baby cause it was just tooo good. plenty years of his dicksperience.
Then there was the “is this the last time” feeling, can a moment like this be risked again, what if it’s too good that they can’t stop, what if when he’s fuckin’ his girl he calls out the wrong name, or if her husband is inside her, and she calls out his instead. Sooo many consequences, so many things to think about. But every stroke of his dick makes her arch her back, beat the sheets with her fist, speak in tongues, and fill her mind with the moment and not the future beyond the door to that room. He’s going soo deep, almost too deep, and it hurt sooo good.
“……………, Oh God …….., …………, ,………….., FUCK, oh shit, please ahhhh (Insert whatever name you like)
mmmmmmmm, His name, was the beginning and the end of her vocabulary. Her mantra. She almost said I love you. She meant it, but she could only imagine how scared he would be to hear it.

He felt like King Kong, to see that brown girl writhe around like a worm, seeing his dick going in and out of her, coming out white and creamy from her insides.
They were so reckless. He had at least three condoms in his wallet, but for one reason or another, he did not care to use any. No obstruction, no barrier. He was a big boy. He’d been fucking long enough to know when he was ready, and he was strong enough to pull out. He just said a prayer in hopes that when he was ready, that she would not grab his ass and beg him not to stop. He was strong, but he was not superman.
The sweat was pouring off of his forehead on to her breasts her neck her face, showering her, showing her how much energy he had for her. That kind of sweat could only come from total exertion and abandon. She started to get loud. His ego soared, but he kissed her hard to quiet her down and contain their secret. Their rhythm was perfectly in tune. He wished he could record the sounds they were making, and put it one of his songs. He could name the track Sweetness, or Ecstasy, or Just Between Us, or even better….  Secret. He wished he could call it her name.

He rolls onto his back taking her with him, making her the aggressor, as she was on top. She was then finally able to remove the button down shirt that hung on her shoulders like a cape. He looked up at her in disbelief as to what was happening. The brown was no longer in the ring, but on top of him. Her chocolate mixed with his caramel, her hair tickling him, her riding him. She showed him all she’d learned over the years. He was different, but ooh so familiar. Then it dawned on her in a few seconds of clarity, he was the last man she was with, before she’d met her husband, all those years ago. She moved on his dick as if her pussy had a map, cause she knew every bulging vein every contour of it. Up and down around, circles. He didn’t want to, but he felt like he was gonna cry like a bitch, cause what she was doing felt soo…….. Just when he thought she was peaking, she skillfully turned around, without getting off, turning her back to him grabbing his ankles while his new view was the small of her back covered by her hair and her apple. He couldn’t resist smacking it a few times.
Just as they’d both suspected,..and obscene amount of fucking was going on, with no end in sight. They had all night though, and had every intention of maximizing the benefits of every second….

“Please don’t ever stop” she breathed.
His ego soared again. She was so sweaty she was slippery.
He felt that tingle, that minor ache that he got when he was about ready to cum. She had already cum soo many times she’d lost count, and she could feel him throbbing inside her. He wanted to see her face. At that moment they wanted to look into each other eyes.
TURN AROUND! he said.
As she tried to oblige his request,..he grabbed her and hoisted her unto her back, fitted himself back between her legs missionary style, and she wrapped he legs around his back, and he was headed for the point of no damn return.
‘Mutha fucka’ he groaned…staring into her flushed sweaty face.
For about 5 seconds, he thought they would make a pretty baby, and in an instant he groaned and pulled it out ending all prospects of junior on her belly. It was soo much, that it ran down the side of her stomach on to the sheets. He collapsed right on top of her, feeling himself in between. Their breaths echoed, they could hear each other’s heart beat as if they were coming from a boom box. He couldn’t resist kissing her.
She took her hand and wiped the sweat from his face, looked into his eyes, smiled and finally said.
“Hi, how you been?”
He smiled hard…wanting more, wanting her again, feeling the fire stir again….
Ready for her again….


Between your profile picture, the popcorn, the lotion and that mutha fuckin’ story. I’m almost in heaven, with a touch of hell .. lol I don’t think I can get up. lol I actually have a penis cramp..LMAO!



What did you do with the lotion? haahhaha.. Profile pic was for you BTW… 
Oh Yeah…I don’t think you ever answered me when I asked you how you been many responses ago. Sooo…how you been? 🙂 


I’ve been good. How ‘bout you?


I been good…….

She sits at her computer screen and smiles……as does he….


About bak2moi

I am a woman trying to balance motherhood and womanhood, while pursuing her dreams. Hopefully I get to keep at least foot on the ground during the process.
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6 Responses to Now I don’t,I used to, love him….

  1. Nana Darkoa says:

    What a hot post! One of the readers of my blog directed me here and I’m so glad s/he did. I’m jealous of the woman in this story 🙂

  2. bak2moi says:

    lol,…Thank you. I checked out your blog. It’s pretty intense. 🙂 I am reading up a storm…

  3. LOGIQ PRYCE says:


  4. ~REBECCA DAWN~ says:

    wow! definitely hotter than what I wouldve written! I loved it!

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