A few years ago, comedy genius Dave Chapelle stated that women are getting all of their information from the wrong sources. Apparently ladies, things are not as complicated as we think they are. From what I understand, there are really no mixed messages, we just like to make excuses for men. These excuses act as bridges that keeps us connected to the men we desire, even if they do not reciprocate the same desire and are very clear in their words and or actions about what they really want. I did look into what he said, especially about the drivel that a lot of magazines put out in big script, next to attractive celebrities. 100 ways to please your man, 20 ways to give good head, Karma Sutra,.. 1000 ways to f^*k his brains out, blah blah blah.. I must add, that these articles are usually written by women, who also according to Dave Chapelle, don’t know what the hell they are talking about. So,… I figured I should just do some research and ask some men a few questions. Now why didn’t I think of this before. 🙂
I was like Sherlocka Holmes..lol 😀 . I wanted specifics dammit. I wanted nitty gritty, and I did not want politically correct answers.
According to Mr. Chapelle, a man’s requirement list in a relationship is only four things long…and I quote…
1. Play with his balls. 😀
2. Suck his dick. (smdh)
3. Make him a sandwich. (lol)
4. Don’t talk soo much.
There you have it. 😀 Relationships according to Dave. I must also add, every man in the audience cheered loudly and gave him a standing ovation, so there must be something to what he said.
Evidently my dear Watson, if you ask specific questions, there is a slight possibility you will get the required answers.
These answers below are from an anonymous source. I actually laughed my ass off when I read this.
1. Stay thin or the same size/weight when we met you.
2. Don’t ask us for anything for the first 6 months.
3. COOK BYTCH!
4. We dont wanna here about your fukked up ugly azz friends problems, we’ve seen the bytch, we know what her problem is.
5. HAVE A JOB BYTCH!
6. No you cant borrow our car or credit card.
7. Fu^k like its gonna be the last dyck you’ll ever have.
8. Dont ask how much we have in savings. 9.If you have ugly toes don’t wear flip flops.
A man who is pretty clear about what he wants.
Here’s another answer, from someone I admire..
AFFECTION: I’m affectionate. Don’t turn my affection away & don’t take, take, take without giving back. I love comfort too.
PRIDE (in the relationship… don’t act like your ashamed of me in public etc… Make me feel like you’re proud to be with me.)
PASSION: Passive is cool but I want somebody who has the ability to get under my skin… EFFORTLESSLY.
Cuss me when I’m wrong, tump me in my face, buss my head… dat kinda passion. Till death do us part kinda shit. Don’t let me walk away.
(2) Common intrests
(3) Separate hobbies that allow time awy frm ech othr 4 a lil while
(4) respecting ech others brains ( meaning I’m not gonna ask u about supm den call my mommy 4 da final word. An vice versa)
(5) Good sexual chemistry. (the act of sex, but also knowin ur partner is attracted 2 u an u can make her hot from miles away jus thinking bout u n vice versa)
Maybe the question in a relationship should be…
WHAT DO I WANT?