Self Inflicted Insecurities…. The Not So Fast or Furious..


For Years, I convinced myself that I would never be able to conquer a stick shift. I’ve never had anyone put the fear in me, so why did I approach learning to drive it from such a negative perspective? I’ve always wanted to be that ‘badass kinda chick’, like Letty in “The Fast & The Furious”


or like my close girlfriends, who could all handle a manual transmission like the bosses that they are. I was never a part of that club, and boy was it lonely. The only thing that forced me to get over it, was buying a car that I really wanted, but the dealership not having it in an automatic.

I couldn’t even drive it out of the dealership myself. I had to call my Ride or Die (Salma) to do the driving. We laughed all the way back to my office, as I tried to figure out, da  f*^k I was going to get home. In a way, buying a vehicle that I could not drive was a little,.. a lot ass backwards in thinking, but sometimes when our hand is forced, we do what we must.

I called my cousin, told him my dilemma,…he got a ride to drop him off at my job, then drove me home to change and have what would be my first of 2 lessons. Almost in tears , I had to drive to the gas station and back. It went Shockingly well, and I did not cut out. 🙂 He met me in the morning the following day to drive me to work, and kept the car until it was time for my lesson. We went on a long drive on the out skirts of town ( I was driving of course) and after an hour, he declared my lessons officially over. I drove back to work fairly confident, but nearly shit a cold hard brick, when he dropped the “You know you are driving home by yourself” bomb on me. He called his ride and lickety split. I was on my own and petrified.

I stayed back at work late that Friday to avoid the crazy afternoon traffic, because this stop, start, slow down, bullshit was not something I was looking forward to, especially with no expert passenger assistance to guide me.

What on earth did I get myself in to?!!

I sat in the car a good 10 minutes before I got the courage to move off, but with the grace of God, I made it home and I did not cut out once. (I ran  2 red lights though) lol. 🙂 I couldn’t even put any volume on the car stereo, which I would like to interject, is friggin’ awesome. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my music, especially when I’m driving, but I was so overly aware of everything, any sound other than the sound of the engine was a distraction. I needed complete concentration.

I’ve certainly come a long way since I first picked up the car. I can now not only turn up the volume, I can kinda blast it and sing along.


Now I just gotta work on my ‘Badass chick resting bitch you wanna race face’. lol.. 🙂 I just need another month or so, then I’ll get my Letty on.

Here’s to conquering your fears, self inflicted or otherwise, one gear at a time.




About bak2moi

I am a woman trying to balance motherhood and womanhood, while pursuing her dreams. Hopefully I get to keep at least foot on the ground during the process.
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2 Responses to Self Inflicted Insecurities…. The Not So Fast or Furious..

  1. PassionPoet says:

    Great job! Love this post! Conquering your fears ROCKS!

  2. chattinatti says:

    Conquering fears is an awesome feeling…I had that same fear until I realized it was all in my head! LOL.

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