“Please don’t leave me…” He stood at the door breathing short quick breaths of relief, turned an unyielding knob with satisfaction, then after what felt like too long to her, said without turning around…
“I wasn’t going to. I was going to make sure the door was locked.”
He took two strides back to her and looked down at her brown skin with the orange aura…and she radiated nothing but want and desire…
…..This is what happened after Part 1….
She stared at the uncertainty of her future directly in his face. Tarah frantically searched her mind for coherent words to string together into some form of sentence, but all she could muster up were very deep breaths. She leaned into his body helplessly and felt his arms completely engulf her in their tightest embrace ever. She could not only feel, but she could hear his heart beating, as their bodies gently swayed. His arms felt like exactly where she needed to be. Tarah looked up at him finally, then felt Alex take one of his arms from around her, and watched him remove his shades. A sudden fear came over her, as he studied her face carefully, then slowly let her go. He walked over to the table placed in the corner of the room behind him and rested them there, feeling her stare pierce his back. It was as warm as the glow from the setting sun, the only other witness to what was happening between them. He turned around and truly studied her presence. She seemed tense, but considering the circumstances, it was understandable.
The limp soft t-shirt she wore, hung about her body, but he could see her silhouette from the light that was cast. He watched her close her eyes to shut out uncomfortable, which was the way she had to have been feeling, as a result of his attention being solely focused on her. Tarah felt her feet suddenly being lifted from off the floor and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, holding on to him as tightly as she ever could. Their lips touched, and they breathed into each others mouths, but they didn’t kiss. They tried reading each other’s thoughts for the longest time, without each other really knowing for sure what the other was truly thinking. He held her effortlessly, almost as if he’d been carrying a child. Alex walked over to the space between the double doors that led to the balcony and the window, and pressed her back against the hard wood. It hid them from the direct glare of the sunset, and caused their skin to dance in shadows. There was so much to say, but it didn’t feel as if there were enough words in their vocabulary to allow them to express what had been going on inside their minds. His inability to articulate just propelled his thoughts to act on how he was feeling, so he licked the contour of her lips, then kissed from her chin down to her neck and began to suck. Her panties were immediately flooded. She gasped at the see-saw combination of pain and pleasure. She instinctively caressed his head and neck, while she looked outside and took in another aspect of her beautiful view. The orange had begun to fade away, and the dark blue of the night sky creeping in, was slowly taking over. It was breath taking in every way.
It felt as though he was trying to mark her, but it hurt so good. His mouth found it’s way back up to hers, and he yet again teased the contours of her lips with his tongue. He was in control and it was up to her to follow his lead. Just when he thought she couldn’t take it any more, he pressed his lips onto hers, gently at first , but then increased the pressure as she parted her lips. They kissed relentlessly. They kissed as if they had been trying to make up for all of the moments they’d wanted to before, but never did. She slid her hands beneath his t-shirt and caressed his warm skin, that was beginning to get damp with perspiration and ran her hand along the rim of his un belted loose fitting jeans. They simultaneously opened their eyes, as her hand began to wander inside the denim, then his eyes widened as her fingers invaded the cotton of his boxers and began rubbing his ass. He gently began to shake his head, and a soft nervous chuckle escaped his lips.
Tarah un-twined her legs from around his waist and put her feet on the floor, and Alex turned her around to face the wall, as he put his hands underneath her shirt to touch her skin. His hands behaved wantonly inside her panties, causing her breath to become staccato. He kissed the back of her neck and her shoulders and his hands did whatever they wanted, reluctantly moving from her underwear, up her torso, tugging on her body chain that rested in the middle of her chest, as his hands cupped her breasts. As he pushed forward, she pushed back, and she could feel his incredible hard. Tarah had to press her hands into the wall so that his body wouldn’t squish hers into the rough wood. Alex wrapped his arms around her waist and across her chest and began backing up towards the bed.
When Alex felt the frame behind his legs, he sat down, pulling her onto his lap, his hands then back to caressing her. Without warning he grabbed the shirt and swiftly pulled it over her head.
“Is this really happening?” was all she could think repeatedly.
“I want you so fuckin’ bad” he whispered.
She closed her eyes not being able to speak. The fear was creeping in. Tarah turned around and faced him, just staring for a few seconds, then leaned forward to kiss him. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, and it saddened him. He wished for her to be as sure as he was at that moment. Her kiss felt sure. Her touch felt sure, but her eyes gave him insight as to the internal battle that she seemed to be fighting, while he was just trying to show her how much he loved and wanted her. He reached for her, slowly pulling her down with him, as he reclined to lay down. Alex adjusted himself properly on the bed, while she laid perfectly fitted on top of him, kissing him all the while. When he rolled her onto her back and pressed his weight on to her, she ripped her lips away to gasp for air. He wasn’t holding back at all. He stared at her for a while, and she caressed his face. His expression was intense and focused and she could see and feel how badly he wanted the intimacy.
His kisses trailed from her neck, to her collar bone, to her breasts, then lingered, then to her rib cage, then her navel, then her hips, and lingered. She felt him lift the stretchy material of her panties away from her flesh and began pulling it away from her skin and down towards her thighs. Tarah automatically lifted her hips slightly, to accommodate what he was trying to do, squeezing her eyes shut at that very moment. She felt it move slowly down, while simultaneously being trailed by kisses, all the way to her ankles, where it was removed. She was now completely naked in every way. Tears began to fall from her eyes.
“Why you cryin’?” he asked.
She shook her head to indicate that she was fine.
“Baby, tell me why you cryin’?” he asked again.
“Nothing I swear it. I’m just really overwhelmed.” she whispered.
“Do you want me to stop.”
“No, please don’t stop.”
She then quickly reached up to kiss and reassure him.
“I love you so much.” he said.
“I know. I love you too.”
“So why does it feel like you’re holding back from me?”
Her mind was reeling. She felt confused by what he was saying.
“What you mean holding back? How am I holding back from you Alex. I just told you that I loved you. You know that I want you. For God’s sake, I’m laying here with you naked, and you’re between my legs touching and kissing me. Can’t you feel how much I want you?”
“You’re not the only one who’s scared you know. You never seem to think about that. You think it’s easy for me? What’s gonna happen if you decide you don’t want to be with me? What’s gonna happen when I make love to you, and it’s the most amazing experience of my life, then have to walk away? I can see and feel that you want me, but would this be even happening if I didn’t make the move. You are so scared of everything to do with me that you run. You want me so bad, yet you would never make the first move.”
Considering that they only could have been physically closer, had he pushed his pants down and just thrust forward to be inside her, it was not the type of conversation they would’ve expected to have in the midst of their intimate embrace.
“I have a right to be scared.” she replied.
“And I don’t?!”
“Alex what do you want from me? I’m not pushing you away. I’m giving in to you. I’m giving you what you want. I’m showing you how I feel. It doesn’t get any more vulnerable than me laying here naked, with you. I’m so fuckin’ confused right now. It’s either you want me or not.”
She started to push him off of her out of sheer frustration, but he didn’t budge. He actually hooked her right leg, and positioned himself so that she could feel exactly how hard he was.
“You feel that?! You fuckin’ feel that?! It doesn’t get any harder sweetheart. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone more than I want you right now, but you gotta want me the same way. It can’t just be you trying to please me, cause all you’ll do when we’re done is have regrets. I don’t want this, us, this moment, experience, to be tainted with any kind of regret. Especially if it’s the only one we’ll ever share. I mean, I’m looking in your eyes and you look so scared. What are you scared of? I may want you for myself, but I want you to be happy, and if being with Lucas is what would make you happy, then so be it, but what we’re doing right now, is just for us, between us. I’m not gonna hold it as ransom against you. It’s almost as if you don’t trust me. Is that it? Don’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you. It’s not about that. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t have gotten this far. I think sometimes…(sigh)… I wonder what you really think about my affection for you and my attraction to you. I wonder how you can really trust me, when I’m the one in a relationship with another. It’s a catch 22. I’m damned if I do and if I don’t. I guess I’m scared that we will have trust issues down the road. Don’t you ever lay down and think that I have a man and am messing with you? I know you don’t like it, I know it bothers you. It is what it is. Why wasn’t I strong enough to ignore you, to tell you to fuck off and leave me alone, regardless of how charming I thought you were? Are you saying you won’t judge me for that down the line? And what about years from now? I’m so much older than you are. I mean in 10 years you are gonna be in a position to like women 10 years younger than yourself, which’ll be 20 years younger than me. I won’t be able to compete. I’m scared for us. The odds are not ultimately in my favour. We’re at very different places in our lives and I’m scared. Of course I’m scared.” she replied.
Her words were just and hard to refute. He felt ashamed for being so hard on her, especially as she was no doubt putting her fears aside and physically allowing herself to be with him intimately. He had no way to guarantee what kind of dynamic they’d have in 10 years, however, that wasn’t an issue because of their age difference, it was just an issue in all relationships. There was just no crystal ball to predict these things, but she was right with everything she’d said. Suddenly, as much as he’d wanted her, it just didn’t feel right for them to make love. In the moment they were experiencing, they shouldn’t have even been having a conversation. They should have just been touching and kissing and feeling, not analyzing and deciding. His eyes teared up as well. Alex leaned in and kissed her deeply.
“I love you soo much.” he said..
Then slowly got up and sat quietly at the end of the bed. After a few minutes, Tarah got up and rubbed his back. Neither of them said a word as he got up, retrieved his shades and quietly walked out of the room. They were both completely gutted, but it was evident that the timing was not right, and neither knew that there would ever be a right time….
Tarah sobbed uncontrollably. Eventually, she was so tired from crying, that she fell asleep.
The sudden boom of thunder jolted her out of her sleep. She looked around her room and it was dimly lit from the external lights that shined in. For a minute, she wondered if she’d dreamed the entire scenario between her and Alex, or if it had actually happened. She looked around trying to get her bearings, then realized that she was naked. She noticed her t-shirt and underwear in a little heap almost falling off of the edge of the bed, so she reached for them, and instantly smelled his fragrance on them. Suddenly she heard heavy pelts hitting the galvanize on the roof. The pelts quickly turned to a woosh, and she jumped up to close in the double doors that lead to the balcony, as the rain had started to beat inside. Tarah stood there, staring at the lights in the distance and was just in awe of how beautiful it all was. She was also painfully aware of how alone she was, and the weather reinforced how much she missed Alex. He could have been with her that very second and holding her in his arms. They would’ve probably been making love at that very moment. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the intimate images of his body and the way he felt and smelled, but it wasn’t working. His presence was everywhere in that room and they definitely had unfinished business to take care of.
Tarah looked at her phone to check the time, and realized it was just a little bit after 8pm. She dialed his number three different times, but there was no answer. She was scared that he saw her calls coming in, but decided that he didn’t want to speak to her. As her uneasiness didn’t subside, she tried willing herself to go back to sleep to make the night go by quicker, but every time she looked at her phone, only a few minutes had passed. There was no way she was going to make it through the night like that. She tried calling his cell once more with the same result, then decided that she’d had it. She needed to see him. Tarah put on her underwear and her t-shirt and grabbed a pair of cut off shorts, and sprinted through the rain to her car. She needed to get some things off her chest, and if he wasn’t going to take her calls, he damn sure was going have the conversation in person.
She had to constantly remind herself to slow down while she was driving. She did want to make it there in one piece after all. There was this sudden rush of desperation inside her and it went from wanting to see him, to needing to see him. She hadn’t thought about what she was going to say, she’d just cross that bridge when she got to it.
When Tarah pulled up in front of Alex’s house, the rain still hadn’t let up. She sat in her car for 10 minutes, waiting, but somehow, the down pour just seemed to get heavier. There was a rental parked in the spot that she would’ve taken, so she had to park on the road, quite a bit further than she would have liked. She took two deep breaths, then made a mad dash for the garage. She was completely soaked by the time she reach the stairs that lead to the front entrance. Tarah took a couple of deep breaths before she knocked, as she was very unsure as to what to expect. She tapped on the wood cautiously a few times, then heard footstep approaching. When the door swung back, it was an older lady, who she knew had to be Alex’s mother. The woman’s expression was not welcoming, and she seemed almost displeased by Tarah’s presence.
“May I help you?” she asked, not knowing who stood at her door.
“I’m here to see Alex.”
“Young lady, Alex is sleeping. I can leave him a message if you like though.”
“No, I need to see him urgently.” replied Tarah.
“You really want me to wake him? He’s very tired you know. He needs his rest.”
“No, he needs to see me. I can wake him up myself.”
“What is your name?” Alex’s mom asked.
She immediately raised her eyebrows, wondering if this little thing was the mystery woman, wreaking havoc in her son’s life.
“Are you the married woman?!”
Tarah was stunned by his mother’s demeanor. She seemed defensive and cold, and clearly very protective of her son. Tarah shuffled her bare feet and stood by the doorway like a lost, wet, dog. Her t-shirt was stuck to her, and her nipples poked through brazenly.
“Yes ma’am. I am.”
“You look a lot younger than I expected….hmmm…Look, my son has told me quite a few things about you, and to be truthful, I was quite pleased with the way you told him to keep his distance. It looks as though you’ve changed your stance though. You think its a good idea, coming here looking like this to see him?”
“I’m not trying to be disrespectful ma’am, but my marriage is complicated and the relationship that your son and I have is not any body’s business, not even yours. Just please tell him I’m here. If he says he doesn’t want to see me, I’ll leave, but I need to talk to him.”
“If you really love my son, you’ll do what’s best for him and let him be.”
“I’m trying to. I swear, I’m trying to. “
The combined look of frustration and sadness on Tarah’s face softened her heart, so she stepped aside and gestured with her hand for her to come in. Alex was a grown man, and she knew that she had no business meddling in certain aspects of his life. He’d have to deal with whatever the consequences were for his actions. All she could do, was be there for him to cushion the fall if there was one.
“His room is down the hall, to the right. You’ll hear music coming out of it.”
“Thank you.” Tarah replied, not letting on that she knew exactly where she was going.
When she stepped inside the room, she couldn’t help but smile widely. It was dark, except for the luminous stars that were in the roof, trickling down to the sides on to the walls. They were amazing to behold. It was her first time really seeing them glow, and she instantly remembered the day when she helped him put them up. She pushed the door back gently and walked further into the room, just in awe of how beautiful those stars really looked. Tarah sat on the edge of Alex’s empty bed, and just took it all in. His words to her earlier that evening, loomed about in her head.
“…You are so scared of everything to do with me that you run. You want me so bad, yet you would never make the first move….”
She sat there trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to say, but couldn’t help but chuckle when the next song selection came on. She wondered how the hell he even knew about that song…
Tarah could hear his shower running, so she walked down the short hallway in his room that lead to his bathroom. She stood by the door, tapped softly and called his name, but he didn’t answer. She slowly pushed the door open, and was completely taken aback by the vision in front of her. She stood frozen, in awe, staring at him. Had they been cartoon characters, her eyes would’ve popped out of her head, and she would have had to frantically search for them on the floor to put them back in. Though they’d been somewhat intimate physically, she’d never really seen him like that. He was always covered in some way. Her hands had caressed his skin even just a mere few hours before, and she had imagined what he would have looked like naked countless times since they’d met, but to see it for real with her own two eyes, was almost too much. He was just as beautiful as she’d imagined. Maybe even more.
Her eyes were fixed on his every move. The way he washed himself, the way the water beads glistened on his skin, the amazing definition of his muscle tone, there was just so much about him that she couldn’t take her eyes off of. Tarah had to have been in a trance, because she felt herself moving, and she saw him getting closer and closer to her, but she couldn’t feel her legs. It was like an out of body experience. The glass door for the shower opened and she felt the warmth of the water hitting her body, then she saw her hand reach out and touch his shoulder. He flinched and turned around in shock, not knowing what was going on. Alex thought the he was dreaming when he saw her standing there. He blinked a couple of times thinking that he was hallucinating, but she didn’t disappear. She was still standing there. He reached forward and touched her chest and when she still didn’t vanish, he grabbed her and pulled her into him, beneath the full blast of the shower head. There was no fear in her eyes that time, at least none that he could see.
Tarah ran her hands across his shoulders down to the small of his back and then caressed his ass, pulling him to her. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was still fully clothed. Alex pushed her up against the wall, raised her hands above her head and removed her shirt. There was an indescribable sense of urgency between them as Alex yanked her soaking wet shorts and underwear down to her ankles is one motion, then stood up and looked into her eyes.
“I want you.” she whispered.
That was all he needed to hear. There were to be no more words spoken, as he was sick of talking. His hands slid from her shoulder, down her slippery torso to her hips. He stared in her face for reactions when he put his finger inside her. Tarah gasped and closed her eyes, not really believing that what was happening between them was really real. He slid his finger in and out until she was as wet as he’d wanted her to be, and without fair warning, he lifted her leg and pushed her body up the wall as he squatted a little, then plunged himself inside of her. She cried out loudly in agony at the swift and sudden invasion, and it scared him. He quickly put his hand over her mouth, then began to kiss her into quietness. He could hear her whimper softly and it made him feel bad for what he’d done. He didn’t want to go slow, because he knew that he would scare her by having her look at him when he got hard. It would have been intimidating to the point of seeming like something she wouldn’t have been able to handle and he just didn’t think that he could take being so close to making love to her again, then having to stop. He definitely remembered her reaction when she’d first seen it, and knew in his heart, he’d have to talk her into it, if they went too slowly. He was sure her cry was heard by his parents, as it was so loud, that it echoed. He was afraid to stop kissing her. He stood there inside her with her back pressed to the wall, staring into her eyes. Inside of her felt like a million little tiny hands gripping and massaging him and it was even better than he’d imagined. Again, he slowly thrust forward inside her, causing her to cry out onto his lips and he kissed her even harder.
Tarah wrapped both legs around him and held him around his back and gripped his shoulders. It felt like if he was ripping her apart with every move for the first few minutes. When she tore her mouth away from him, he started to whisper in her ear….
“Shhhhh, baby…..shhhhh..please don’t cry. I’m sorry I’m hurting you. It’s only gonna hurt for a little while…. I promise… just trust me…. shhh …it’s ok…. You trust me don’t you?….”
She couldn’t speak for the agony. All she could do was just nod in agreement. He began to kiss her gently, touching wherever his hands could reach, while still supporting her weight. He noticed that after what seemed like a very long time, that her cries from pain, turned into moans, and sighs and whispers from pleasure. He could feel his back flesh being clawed and she began to bite his neck, shoulder and collar bone. Alex turned off the shower, opened the glass door and walked straight into his bedroom laying her on her back, without ever removing himself from inside her. Their dripping wet bodies soaked his bed sheets. He knelt over her holding one of her legs up, so that he could go deeper. He wanted so much to be gentle and love her slowly on one hand, but on the other, seeing her that way and feeling the way she felt, he wanted to go crazy on her, and release every bit of frustration that had built up over the course of their relationship. He pulled back slowly still studying what he could see of her face from the stars above them, then pushed forward. Again she sounded as if she was under pressure. He did it multiple times, and each time he could tell that she was trying to be a lady and not be too loud, but he misjudged and went too far one stroke, and she cried out a profanity, that made him lay his body on hers, so that he could once again silence her with his kisses.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked.
She nodded yes.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked reluctantly.
Tarah thought for a few seconds, then whispered…
“No, I don’t…. want you to stop.”
Alex put all is weight on top of and inside of her, feeling as though he only had partial control of his body. His mind was saying ease up, ease back, go slow, take it easy,… but his body was saying more more more, all all all. The more she moaned, cried, whimpered and whispered, the more turned on he got. Tarah tried to show restraint, she tried her best not to curse, or be too loud, but she wanted to scream all holy heaven and lowly hell, for the pleasure and pain he was giving to her. She did the best she could, but it was hard, in more ways than one. She now knew the physical and literal definition of the phrase ‘It hurt so good’.
Her body was doing things that she didn’t know it could do. She felt every single one of her muscles working, and was more in tune with her body at that moment than she ever was. Tarah cried out the king of profanities when she felt a massive wave of release coming down on her and she gripped the skin on his back so hard that he started to bleed. It would have been the most mortifying experience of her life, had she not been feeling so much of everything, when she saw Alex’s mother come to his bedroom door and close it all the way in properly. They were not even aware that his door was not shut. Uncontrollable tears ran down her cheeks and seasoned the kiss that he tried to quiet her orgasmic cries with. He wanted to yell like Tarzan, seeing how hard he’d made her cum. His ego was bigger than Kanye West’s at that very moment. Every single nerve ending in his body was awakened by the sound and feel of her cumming all over him.
Alex pulled himself out slowly and turned her on to her belly, then brought her up to her knees. It was one of the things he’d thought about sometimes, whenever he was laying down alone playing with himself. He’d always envisioned what she would have been like, on her knees for him. It was again a position that her body had to adjust to with him, because it felt as if he could yet go deeper still.
“Oh my God”…she tearfully whispered as she felt him.
Their skin was still wet, but they had long since been dried from their shower by the sheets and were now sweated out from passion. Alex grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, and moved inside her as if he was possessed and trying to get a demon out. Tarah was on a ‘pain pleasure pain’ roller coaster at that point and called his name repeatedly, but when she looked back at him, his eyes appeared to be glazed over, and it was a if he was not in control of himself. She reach forward and grabbed one of his pillows, so that she could bury her face into it and cry out. Had she not done that, his parents would have thought he was trying to kill her. The moment she heard him cry out to God,call her name, and feel his warmth inside her, she new that his mind was back. He collapsed his sweaty body on top of hers, and his breathing was laboured and uneven.
After a few minutes, he eased up so that she could turn over and face him. He touched her face gently then began to kiss her.
“I love you.” he said.
Tarah for whatever reason, just hummed softly in his ear. His breathing began to even out, and the cloud of passion they’d shared, began to clear post orgasm. She tried to stay present in the moment.
“Your mom saw us.” she said and giggled softly.
“Say what now?!” he replied.
She put her mouth right up to his ear and whispered,
“When you were fuckin’ me, your mom came right to your bedroom door and closed it. I don’t think I closed it all the way in when I got here.”
Alex was horrified, but all he could do was laugh a little. He’d waited what had felt like forever for that moment, and not even that was going to shift his mood. He was a grown ass man, doing what a grown ass man should be doing he thought.
“Are you ok?” he asked.
“I am.” she replied.
Alex and Tarah laid there looking up at the stars and he reached down rubbed her belly gently. All kinds of possible scenarios about their relationship were running through his mind, but he was not yet ready to put them out to the universe. They laid there in each other’s arm, very uncertain about what was in store for them, when they had to get up and get back to reality. Plans needed to be changed and serious decisions needed to be made. All he was thinking about at that moment though, was if she could handle him being inside her again, because he wanted her again.