Parental Advisory…


Seeing the change in my dog is a helluva thing to watch. To see those 8 beautiful puppies, and their doting, formerly wild child mother, makes me smile. I can’t believe the dog lover I’ve turned into. It takes me back to when my kids, were tiny, and completely helpless, and wiggly and how I barely wanted to let them out of my sight. I see them now, trying to assert their independence, and turning into little grown ups. I am more than aware, of how quickly time flies and how much I want to impart to them, whilst their little minds are able to grasp, without active resistance due to external over exposure. As the bible said, ‘train up a child in the way he should grow, so then when he is older, he will not depart from it’….or something like that. 😀

Babies are not born with instructions or handbooks. Parents have to wing it as they go along, and create their own handbooks along the way. I want to train both of my children the same way. I will not give my son free reign and tie my daughter with a tight leash. My main aim is to make sure I put responsible, compassionate, and intelligent people out into society, to do nothing but contribute and make it better. If I was supposed to print out my personal parental advice handbook, to give them when they turn 16, it would look like this…

open-book 1

open-book 2

open-book 3

open-book 4

See complete list below within this post.

Love yourself first, but don’t ever be selfish,

putting blinders on to how your actions affect


Don’t always forgive and never forget. Small

damages happen to become a reminder, to prevent

bigger catastrophes from occurring.


Technology is your frenemy. It can be a vital tool

in your life, but your biggest downfall, if you

don’t use it wisely. Never do or say anything on

camera, or audio recording, leaving viable proof ,

that you are of questionable character, or are an

ass. Be nothing but the amazing person I know

you are capable of being, always. Be aware, that

it can live on beyond your earthly existence,

attaching itself to your legacy. What do you want

your legacy to be?


It’s ok to fall in love quickly, but never act on it

immediately. Explore your feelings thoroughly

before doing something that you cannot take

back. Love can turn to hate very quickly.


What you have between your legs is very special.

You are not a Coney Island ride. I am not expecting

you to be saints, but I expect that when you look

back on your past, that you smile fondly, not

shudder in regret, at the thought of knowing that

you physically joined yourself to an unworthy

piece of shit. Be no ones belt notch. Have more

standards than, ‘You must be this tall, or you must

have this much money to ride this ride’.

Be exclusive. You are special.


Don’t make a life or a child, with someone whose

family members are questionable. Even if that

person is not characteristically like their other

family members, if they have a somewhat close

relationship, they will meddle in your lives, and

usually not in a good way. Contrary to what folks

say, you do marry the family. Choose your partner



Don’t play fetch with your life. If people really want

to be with you, or around you, they will make the

effort. No need for ‘fetch and go get it’, dangling

yourself like a stick or a tasty treat in front of

them, to get them to notice you. You are not

a dog.


Trust takes years to build, but only seconds to

demolish. Make sure that post destruction, the

relationship rubble and dust stays only between

who was directly involved. Respect what once

was, let it die and rot in piece.


Social media is the devil’s right hand. Use it.

Don’t let it use you.


Make sure you can differentiate between being

laughed with and being laughed at.


Do nothing to anyone that you would not like

being done to you.


Anything that comes too easy or at the expense

of others, will always flop somewhere down the

road. May be sooner, may be later.

Never broadcast or rub your good times or good

fortune in anyone’s face. Nobody likes a friggin’

show off. No need to hide your light, but don’t

shine it in anyone’s eyes. It may only encourage

them to plot your demise, or knock your boastful

ass, off of your high horse. On the flip side, nobody

likes a walking pity party. Do not invite people into

your sorrow. Most times they not really feeling

sorry for you, they’re just trying to figure out the

source of your misery aka (nosey) or want to

perpetuate it and keep you there.


Make sure anything you say about someone in their

absence , you can say directly to their face, and be

gangsta about it. J

‘Yeah I said it. And What Nicca!

Did I lie?’


Learn to really fight and be able to kick someone’s

ass. I mean be able to stomp the shit out of ‘em.

But be like a monk /ninja. A lover, not a lover of

fighting. Just take comfort in knowing you could kick

the dog piss out of ‘em, if they cross you.

Never let people know you are capable of it

though. They only need to know when your foot

comes in contact with their ass…. Which leads to the

next piece of parental advice..


Know when to STFU. Most things in your life are

nobody’s business. It’s not called being sly, it’s

called being private. Shut up more, listen more.


Unless your dreams involve some kind of sexually

deviant behavior, or murder, pursue it. I will

support you.


Respect and earn your money honourably. Never

chase it. It would be nice to earn off of your gifts

or talents, but if that cannot happen right away,

don’t turn your nose up at a respectable paying

job, because it doesn’t seem glamourous enough.


Save your money. Don’t be foolish with it, but

still take chances. If you lose it in pursuit of a good

cause, chalk it up to a lesson learned. Most

successful people have been bankrupt before they

were finally able to sustain it. Be financially

responsible, but don’t be a miser.


Believe in God, regardless of whatever science the

intellectuals come up with. Do not be a religious

fanatic, as organized religion can even be tied to

the devil. Be spiritual and open to the fact that

there is someone greater than you. Look at it

this way. If there is no God, even if you believed in

him and in having consequences to your actions, and

you lived a better life because of it, then you still

win. If you don’t believe in God, and you turn out

to be wrong and there is one, then you’re basically



Be a critical thinker, but don’t come off as a

condescending asshole, trying to diminish

someone else’s view, because you don’t share

their opinion. You don’t look or sound smarter,

you just appear to be a jerk.


As your mother who endured 10 months of

pregnancy, consistent vomiting throughout,

weekly, religious I V treatments due to severe

dehydration and weight loss, to grow you in

my body and keep you safe before you even

saw the light of day, I have and will always have

the right, as your hands on parent, to beat

you beyond recognition / identification, should

you chose to be, anything other than an

exemplary asset to society. I mean this shit!


Finally, Honour your father and your mother.




About bak2moi

I am a woman trying to balance motherhood and womanhood, while pursuing her dreams. Hopefully I get to keep at least foot on the ground during the process.
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