Fifty Shades My Ass…..LoL

Ok..I have 2 of the 3 books. Both GIVEN to me by extremely vexed readers. One reader was going to toss theirs in the garbage, and I believe the other was considering using theirs as toilet paper..lol 🙂  All this time I’m thinking, this book cannot be that bad. What’s all the fuss about?  How the hell is this E.L woman making soo much money? (A million dollars a week). Are the sex scenes that good?!  Imma need to step my sex game up in my next novel.  😀

I am like dying of jealousy about that. I am like screaming on the inside like Marlon Brando in a  ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’

(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT SHOULD BE ME… WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! ) LOL.  Lemme stop.

http://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Tameka-Jarvis-George/dp/1592322050/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345821325&sr=8-1&keywords=unexpected+tameka+jarvis-george

Shameless Book Plug

I stare at those books every day, and have yet to read either. I’ve been using the excuse, that I am waiting for somebody to give me part 2, so that I can read the entire series with fluidity. Alas, I have yet to meet a disgruntled reader of part 2, desperately trying to get rid of their copy. Also, before I tackle those, I have to finish reading a very special book..*hint hint* P(Joanne) lol. So, anyone who has part 2 and wants to part with it, please contact me.

I went searching online for some reviews about this Fifty Shades madness, and they are quite polarizing. There are defintely no grey areas in regards to customers’ feeling about them. (See what I did there) lol 🙂 .  Some thought it was the most horrific thing ever written and some thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. However, the majority of the reviews are not so good. Below is the best review I have come across in regards the one of the fifty shades books. I actually laughed out loud. This person is probably a writer, or at least they should be. I am now even more reluctant to read them, yet still intrigued to see which side of the polarizing fence I will land.

By meymoon

Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Paperback)

I really don’t like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old’s fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she’s climaxing on every page.

Then there’s the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering “Jeez” about something or another. Then there’s the use of “shades of”. He’s “fifty shades of @#$%% up,” “she turned 7 shades of crimson,” “he’s ten shades of x,y, and z.” Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don’t know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!

This is a prelude to my next post,… Why I stayed with my ex for 5 years…. coming soon..

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About bak2moi

I am a woman trying to balance motherhood and womanhood, while pursuing her dreams. Hopefully I get to keep at least foot on the ground during the process.
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4 Responses to Fifty Shades My Ass…..LoL

  1. Floree Williams says:

    And this person is making millions??? What did I do wrong in life?

    • bak2moi says:

      A million dollars a week I hear. This woman has sold over 20 million copies of this damn book. I hate dat bitch…lol (pure haterade I drinkin’)

  2. Denese says:

    I’m cracking up over the comment, lol. Get a grip people the book is exactly what it is. A fluff, soft porn on paper, not that I watch those. (anymore, lol).

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