“O God, why couldn’t I just be a slut?” She said to herself as she pulled into her driveway. She wished that she was escorting him into her home at that very moment.
Before she got into a comfortable lazy zone, she removed her work clothes, took them into her laundry room, then headed directly for the shower. Nadhira knew that if she had only put her head down, she would have instantly passed out from the ‘itis’.
She had hoped that the shower would not only wash the days hardships and built up dirt from her, but also thoughts of him from her mind. Incredibly vivid, lustful thoughts that she could not bear. It had been a long time since she’d last felt Evan, but the days of missing his touch were long past. She busied herself with her life and was surprisingly content in her single-hood, but this Dillon Micheal person, who had served up some of his life story over their impromptu dinner, stirred about her mind and her loins, making her extremely uncomfortable. She wished she could just fall asleep to stop thinking about him. She picked up her phone and stared at his number for the longest time, then rested it next to her pillow, as if it was her lover, staring at it wanting. After she could no longer stomach the sound of her own heavy breathing mixed with the loudness of nothing, she turned on her stereo. Every time she did, she thanked God for the wisdom and foresight to have it hooked up through surround sound, so that no matter what room she was in, she could feel as if she was in a concert hall, should she please.
Nadhira stared at her phone’s screen, willing it to ring, but the last thing she noted on it before she drifted off into sleep, was the time of 11:27pm.
The next morning when she woke up, she looked at the screen to check the time to make sure she hadn’t overslept. Not only did she have time for another 45 minutes of snoozing, she saw a little envelope flashing.
“Thank you for last night, hope you slept well.”
She grinned from ear to ear. Nadhira then grabbed one of the cold unused pillows on her bed and put it between her legs and squeezed them shut. She began to snicker to herself as she slowly realized, that she was hornier than the brass section of a jazz band. She began to hum a song that she considered to be corny as hell, but just as much of a sexy guilty pleasure.
She laid there with her big fluffy pillow crushed between her legs, like prey being tended to by an anaconda, wishing for a big, stiff sumthin’, instead of a big, soft pillow.
‘What is this guy doing to me?’ she thought.
Nadhira cordially replied to his text, even sending a smiley face at the end of it. After it registered as successfully sent, she typed
‘I am sooo friggin’ horny!’, wishing she could send that to him as well.
Nadhira rolled over, intent on getting the extra sleep that waking up a little too early allowed, wondering how she was going to quell the fire that began to burn hot inside her.
When her alarm went off, she got up, made her bed then went into the shower. She still didn’t wash him away though. He made her feel giddy and weird inside, something that she hadn’t in a while. She stood in the middle of her closet looking left and right. Normally she would stand staring at the right side, because that’s where her ‘take me seriously mutha fuckas’ sexy work clothes were, and the left side was her, ‘I’m still a girly girl’ clothes. She was unconsciously having a lickle wine to some Krosfyah, as she got ready to go in to work.
She felt nice. A ‘just smoke a spliff’ nice. An ‘I have something to look forward to’ nice. It was nice to feel nice. Nadhira turned to the left and began to eye a pretty floral frock and self debated.
“Yeah I’m gonna.” she said, smiling to herself and bubbled out of the closet to go and get dressed.
At work, for Nadhira, it was always earth tones, or dark colours with only hints or splashes of brightness. Today she felt incredibly sunny and hopeful and she wanted to project that. She was more than satisfied with what she saw, when she looked in the mirror. She was a little bit worried that the length of her skirt was too short, but she dismissed that thought after about 15 seconds.
From the moment she stepped off the elevator and made her way down the hall, everything seemed to go in slow motion for Evan. He had been having a conversation with Mason Craig and mid-sentence, he completely lost his train of thought and stopped speaking. Even Mason lost focus as they saw her striding in their direction, looking beautiful like a floral Pegasus. She acknowledged them with a nod as she passed and her vanilla scent bitch slapped them both into fantasy land. When Nadhira was no longer in their view, they both stared at each other for a few seconds without saying another word, but very much having the exact same thought, then headed for their respective offices to have necessary alone time.
“Jesus Christ! Do you have a hot date today ‘Dhira?” Natalie asked.
“No I don’t.” she replied.
“You should. You look freakin’ awesome.” Natalie said, while staring at her boss, thinking for a few seconds, that she could possibly switch over to the other side.
“Thank You.” She could feel a warmth over her cheeks.
Nadhira went to her desk, checked her cell phone to see if Dillon texted her. She was disappointed when she didn’t see the little flashing envelope, but she just shook it off, said oh well, removed herself from cloud nine, then began cranking out some serious work.
After about three hours, Nadhira heard a light knock on her door and in came Natalie with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
“Now I see why you look extra pretty today. You met someone!”
“More like I ran into someone.” Nadhira snickered.
“Come again?” Natalie asked curiously.
“Who are they from?”
“Lemme check and see before I get my hopes up and it’s just some random fool.”
Nadhira pulled out the card and read it, quickly letting out a quick gasp of horror, shaking her head. She didn’t know if to laugh or cry.
“What’s the matter?” Natalie asked.
“I’m fine. I swear. Gimme a few minutes.”
Natalie now more curious than ever, reluctantly left. Nadhira sat at her desk unable to function. The flowers were from Dillon just like she’d hoped, but the message on the card made her want to shit twice, then die. She stared at the words, waiting for them to change and read something else. She even shook the card to see if she was dreaming, but alas, the words still read..
“These are just to brighten your day, But if you let me, I can take the horny away.” Followed by a big smiley face.
After about a minute, she grabbed her cell phone and checked her sent messages. To her horror, her last sent message was to Dillon and it read ‘I am sooo friggin’ horny!’ She wondered how she would ever be able to look him in the face again.
Her cell began to ring while she stared at the message. It was her mom. Nadhira welcomed the distraction for about two minutes, then her mother began to press her about Evan. The beep on the other line was a welcomed out, so she rushed her mother off the phone, by telling her she had an important call coming in and quickly switched over.
“Did you get my flowers?”
OH SHIT! she thought. Outta the frying pan into the fire.
She was frozen. She frantically searched her mind for the right words to respond to him but nothing would come. Dillon could not contain his laughter anymore. He’d been having spontaneous bursts of laughter from the moment he received her text. He figured that she sent it unintentionally and could only imagine how she must have been beside herself. He hoped that she was not trying to send it to another man and accidentally sent it to him instead, but he was doubtful about that scenario.
His infectious laughter had the corners of her mouth quivering. She listened to what she could only describe, as a laughter of pure joy and in the end, she couldn’t stop herself from following suit.
“Dillon, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“That text I sent you was sooo inappropriate. I honestly had no intention of sending that to anyone.”
“Was it true? Is that how you feel?”
She couldn’t believe he wouldn’t just let it slide. She really didn’t want to talk about her sex life, or lack thereof in this case.
“Are you really doing this to me right now?”
“What am I doing. I am asking you a question that I would love to know the answer to.”
Nadhira hesitated for a moment, not really wanting to go down that road with him, but decided to just give up and answer, as he didn’t seem like the type to give up.
“Look, Evan and I haven’t been together in a long time. Even before we officially broke up, we had stopped being intimate. I’ve been fine. I didn’t even really miss him. Honestly, I don’t miss him now. I guess my physical just doesn’t feel like being compatible with my emotional. My body is betraying me. “
She began to snicker.
“No it’s not. You need someone.”
“I don’t need someone. I’m sure if I bought myself a dildo, I’d fix that shit right quick.”
Nadhira could not believe she said that out loud. It’s just that she absolutely detested anyone telling her that she needed a man. He was also stunned by her response, but it just solidified that she was someone he wanted to get to know.
“Come downstairs? Why?”
“Just come downstairs please.” He said, then hung up, without giving her a chance to respond. She checked her face in one of the metallic edges of a picture frame on her desk, which held her father’s picture, then headed for downstairs. As she exited the turning door at the main entrance for the entire building..
she saw it. It looked so powerful. That damn bike that nearly had them both killed.
She had to admit it, the bike was very easy on the eyes. She heard a psssssst, then looked to the right towards the shade, and saw him sitting on the low wall in front of the fountain. He had been staring at her since she’d exited the building, just wanting her ’til it hurt him. She walked towards him slowly and when she was close, he stood up rested his helmet on the wall, then hugged her. It was their first embrace and it felt better than she wanted it to. Waaay better. Neither wanted to let go. After about a minute she began to pull away. The last thing she wanted, was for any of her co-workers to pass by and see her. He sat back down and she sat next to him.
“Don’t be mad.” He said.
“Mad at what?” she replied looking at him curiously.
He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on her lips. She unexpectedly reciprocated for a few seconds, then pulled away.
“What are we doing? Why did you kiss me?” She asked.
“To see if I was right.” He replied.
“Right about what?”
“What it would be like to kiss you. To see if would feel as good as I thought it would.”
He didn’t answer. He just leaned in and kissed her again. Harder and deeper, right there sitting by the fountain. If she had been standing, her legs would have surely buckled. This time not only did she have to lean back, she had to put her hands up to push him away.
“I have to get back to work.”
“You’re lying. You don’t. It’s just about lunch time. Come take a ride with me.”
“Are you mad?! I’m not getting on that thing. You see what I’m wearing. And besides you only have one helmet.” She was satisfied that she gave him sensible reasons behind her no’s.
Dillon put the helmet in her right hand, then grabbed her left hand and whispered in her ear.
“Come with me.”
She let him lead her to his bike. She stood there looking at the beast for the longest time, then said,
“Are you really sure you can ride that bloody thing?”
“Let me show you.”
He undid the updo from her hair and let it fall,then took the helmet from her and put it on her head. He sat down, then reluctantly, she sat behind him straddling the tough leather. She eased right up on him making sure that her dress remained beneath her ass. Her breasts on his massive back, her front on his rear end, and her legs on his legs. She wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life.
“Don’t let go.”
The vibrations between her legs as he started the engine and began to rev scared her shitless and turned her on simultaneously. As the bike moved off slowly, she breathed hard and gripped him. He felt her embrace tighten and it excited him. He thought about her gripping him like that last night, but instead of being on a bike, they were in his bed.
As Dillon’s bike moved off with Nadhira on the back,Evan stood at the turnstyle door, feeling as if a vein in his head was going to pop.
Nadhira was beyond petrified at first, but just feeling him and the way he maneuvered that damn bike as if it was feather light, made her see that not only did he know what he was doing, he was very much a boss. Dillon recognized that she was getting comfortable when her grip relaxed a little and he smiled. She trusted him. They rode around for about half an hour, then he decided to not push his luck anymore and take her back to work. When he rode up in front of the building, she didn’t want to let him go.
Nadhira got off the bike as lady like as she could, trying not to show her bits and pieces, then removed the helmet and handed it to him. He pulled her wrist and drew her closer, then kissed her lips again.
“I’m too old for this shit. I’m not playing any coy games with you. I want you and I believe that you recognize that. You don’t have to say anything. I believe that you feel the same way, but you’ll say it when you’re ready.”
He said an ambitious mouthful, to which she had no response.
“Can I see you later?”
He hesitated but for a moment, then said,…
“I don’t see why not.”
“I’ll call you.” He said.
Over the next few weeks, Nadhira and Dillon spent every free moment they had together. She tried her best to not become freakishly attached to him, but it was difficult. She kept waiting for him to start doing assholish things to turn her off, but the more she was with him, the fewer faults she could find. She was petrified about crossing that final barrier, which they had come ridiculously close to, more times than she could count, before she put the brakes on and left him with the bluest of balls and her the wetest of crotches. She thought he would tell her to fuck off for sure, but he was patient.
“You’ll know when you’re ready.” He would say, clenched jaw and all.
Though she was a woman who appreciated romance and the whole candle light, soft music, sexy lingerie idea, she was way beyond the facade of romance to create a perfect moment. She had had those nights with Evan and though she would be a liar to say they weren’t wonderful, there were many nights where after the candles melted, the soft sexy RnB music got boring and the lingerie was tossed to the side, she still felt empty. By God, Evan was good at just about everything he did and sex was not excluded. But his vanity and competitive nature made it seem more like a head and mind thing for him, instead of an emotional or heart thing. Nadhira didn’t know what she was holding out for, but she knew when the right moment was there, she wouldn’t push him away.
Late one Saturday afternoon, Dillon came by and told her he was taking her for a drive. He felt it to be the best way to spend time with her, without being in a confined and private space, because it literally got harder and harder to be alone with her. In order to respect her wishes, he had to get creative. He told her to walk with a sweater and a couple of blankets, because he wanted to go up to Shirley’s Heights and watch the sunset. He thought they may end up chillin’ out there for a while and as it did get quite chilly up there at times, it would be wise to be prepared.
When Nadhira exited her house, she had 2 big pillows and a big plastic bag with what looked like a ridiculously large quilt.
“Woman, we not going camping you know.” he said laughing at her.
“I know. But the back of your pick up is huge. We could just spread this out in the back and get comfy.”
He nodded in agreement.
“That’s why I love you.” he said smiling.
They both sat in stunned silence. Neither of them had said the ‘L’ word to each other before. He recognized that an elephant just jumped out of his mouth.
“Did you mean that?” she asked quietly, unable to ignore it.
He took a moment, then looked straight into her face.
“Yes. I mean it.”
Neither of them said another word. Nadhira turned up the wicked sound system in Dillon’s truck, so that they could just enjoy the drive and not feel forced to talk.
When they got up to Shirley’s Heights, they saw the most beautiful view.
They remained seated inside the truck for a long time, just watching the sun slowly go down and getting lost in the music. Eventually, Nadhira suggested that they put the things she brought along to good use. When Dillon opened the bag, he realized there was this wide thick sponge to lay on the floor of the pick-up back, as well as a really big fleece blanket and of course the 2 pillows. They kept the back flap of the pick up down, so that they could stretch out their legs comfortably.
“I like the way you think baby.”
“You know I know how to use my noggin’.” she replied with a cocky smile.
There were just a couple of other people up there enjoying the view as well, though none that close in proximity to them. They laid down, with Nadhira’s face on his shoulder and their legs intertwined beneath the blanket, taking in the view and the music.
“I love you.” she said.
Everything felt perfect. Everything felt right.
Nadhira could not think of a better time.
“Put your hands on me…” she whispered in his neck.
He knew exactly what she meant. As many times as he’d pictured what it would have or should have been like to be with her in that way, he always thought it would have been the typical romantic notions and gestures that women were fooled into thinking meant something. That moment just showed him how real, she really was.
“And I love you…” he said,
Slipping his hands beneath her close fitting t-shirt.
“I’m not going to stop you…” she said.
Then she began to help him unbutton his pants…….
……..Nadhira felt as if she had been walking around on cloud nine. She had always been a pleasant person to be around, at work, even through the whole Evan engagement debacle, but everyone noticed a distinct difference in her. They all figured that she had been seeing someone, because love had to be the only culprit to cause this woman to have a fixed smile on her face, and the newly infused sets of colours in her wardrobe. The new talk at the office now, was that Nadhira had to be getting something good and proper from the hot guy on the motorbike that she would occasionally be seen talking to at the front of the building. She would neither confirm or deny, not even to Natalie, who she would engage in a bit of chit-chat with, from time to time. But Natalie had all of the evidence she needed, in the love bites that would pop up on boss lady’s neck. She was happy for her and so were most folks, except for Evan. He mean-mugged her every time they crossed paths, so she did her best to avoid him, even more than she had been doing for the past few months. He never said a word to her though and she was thankful for that. Then one day, it was as if she were having Deja vu.
Evan barged into her office late one afternoon after Natalie had left work and just went off on her.
“How could you fuck with that loser? I mean what is he? What does he do for a living? Are you his suga mommy? “
“Whadda you care, you uptight son of a bitch? What if I am his suga mommy? I work fucking hard for my money, so if I wanna spend it on a man who works hard fuckin’ me, then I see no problem. You need not worry about my pussy escapades, worry about your nut case fiance’. I assure you, I’m fine. And not that it’s any of your business, but my man does very well for himself and he takes excellent care of me and he worries more about my well-being, than brown-nosing and trying to climb that invisible social ladder that you are so desperate to get up. You need to get your ass outta my office Evan. There is absolutely no reason for us to ever speak.” She angrily replied.
Again, he completely threw her off balance, by putting whatever his frustrations were, on her. She wasn’t gonna do any more work. Nadhira called Dillon to let him know she was ready to leave and he told her that he would be there in less than 5 minutes. It was nice to be picked up and dropped off. Though she cherished her independence, and loved that she didn’t need a man, it felt good to have one that loved her back and was dependable. For the past few weeks, she’d given her jeep a rest, as Dillon enjoyed taking her any where she needed to go. There were also times when he would just drive it himself, like today.
It took her a little bit longer to shut down her computer, as one of her programs froze up. It took her about 15 minutes before she got downstairs. She headed towards her vehicle , trying to calm herself down with each step. She didn’t want to put any of what had just transpired with Evan on him. When Nadhira reached her vehicle, she noticed a look of anger on Dillon’s face.
“The guy that drives that black BMW, that’s your ex-man right?”
She was intrigued. Why the hell was Dillon mad? Did he just have a confrontation or something.
“You know what that asshole just came up to me and said?”
“He said something to you?!” She was beyond pissed.
“He said that he could get you back from me, if he ever tried.”
“Is that so? I’m so sick of that fucker. He is the one that broke up with me, he is the one who traipses that bitch up and down our corridors when she doesn’t work there, he is the one who had her wearing my fuckin’ clothes…”
“Before we broke up, I had some clothes at his place in case I stayed over, or for just whatever and after we broke up I never got around to asking him for them. Our break up was pretty messed up like I told you and I really didn’t want to speak to him. Truth be told, I even forgot about them, then a couple weeks ago, I see this bitch at our firm, wearing one of my outfits.”
“Gyal, tap lie!” he said laughing…
“I’m serious like a judge. That crazy bitch was wearing my clothes.”
“So when you gonna get them back? Don’t tell me you’re just gonna leave them there?” Dillon asked.
“Well, I do want them back, but I don’t wanna speak to him. I did think about using the key that I had for his place to get in and get them, but I don’t wanna be that chick..”
“You know.The crazy chick.”
Dillon opened the glove box for her jeep.
“You mean this key?” He said, with the most mischievous smile on his face.
“What are you thinkin’?……” Nadhira asked curiously….