“She is my spiritual reflection,
She is my strength,
She is my confidant,
She is my friend,
She is my conscience,
She is my balance,
She is protective,
She is objective,
She is beautiful,
She is capable and
She is my sister.”
I’ve had my ups and downs throughout the years, where my friendships have been concerned. Though my drama has been somewhat minimum, I have had a few occasions where I have come across women, that make me think women are bitches and the fewer female friends I have, the better. That sounds harsh, coming from a woman, but I’ve said this many times, women can be evil, tripe, vindictive, f*^kers. The funny thing about life though, is that there is balance. Every time I become jaded, something happens and someone comes into my life and restores my faith. The past few years of my life, I’ve felt blessed by many of the females that have come into it.
None of us can help the family that we are born in. What we do have control over is the people that we let into our lives. Over the years, I have had the privilege of coming into contact with some incredibly amazing women. Though social media has been responsible for some major virtual drama, it has also been responsible for bringing people together, and I can honestly say it has been nothing but positive so far, in regards to what and who it has brought into my life.
Friendships are very precious to me. I mean the real ones. The friends who will truly tell you like it is, because it’s for your own good, the ones that will cry with you, the ones that will hold your secret, maybe even help you bury a skeleton. 😀 The ones that will tell you when you’re wrong and will not encourage you to do something for your own selfish gain, if others will get hurt. The ones who love you at your worst and will stick around to celebrate with you at your best.
There have been some friendstones (friend milestones) in my life, that stand behind the birth of my children. One that sticks out, is from quite a few years ago. I was living on my own, in an apartment in Antigua for the first time. I was feeling all grown and moved out of my mother’s house to go pay rent, something that I said I would never do. I had a lot of responsibilities and I added rent paying on top. I was barely managing, but managing non the less. Then one month, all the cards came crashing down. In tears I called my girlfriend Salma and I said,
“I need help.”
Those three words are the hardest words for me to say, even to this day. Salma has always been a calming person in my life. ALWAYS! She said,
“How much do you need?”
“I don’t know.”
“Come see me tomorrow. Stop crying.”
The next day when I went to see her, she was in a bit of a hurry, but she came downstairs and gave me a withdrawal slip with her signature and everything else filled out except the amount. Then she said,
“Put in whatever you need.”
She hugged me and went back to work. I was sooo floored by her gesture. We had been very close for a while and I loved her, but that gesture showed me how much she trusted me and our friendship went to a whole other level after that. To this day, Salma is the only friend I have ever borrowed money from. I hated doing it, but her gesture cemented our bond. That was 10 years ago. I wonder if she even remembers that day.
Another moment that sticks out in my memory, was when my mom had Stephanie and I standing on the corner crying, late one night after we had walked home from work. She was telling us to stay focused, telling us that she loved us and only wanted the best for us. I was crying because I was embarrassed as well, because my mother had a hard time with me growing up. After she left us, Stephanie, whose mom had already passed away hugged me and said,
“Listen to your mom Tameka. She loves you. I wish I could take back some of the things that I have said to my mother. You still have a chance with yours.”
We were about 21 or 22 years old at the time. Stephanie and I stood on the corner crying and hugging each other for about 15 minutes.
A few months ago, while in Jamaica, Toya and I had an amazing time. We are slowly planning part deux of our excursion. 🙂 When we were there, we did accomplish a lot of things, but one thing we did that was pretty basic, was probably one of the more significant moments that neither of us have blogged about. Early in mornings before we went out, we found scriptures in the bible, to start off our day on the right foot. Whoever found the scripture would read, we’d say a prayer and then we’d go about our day. There was something about doing that, that made me feel closer to her.
I am fortunate to have had more positive than negative experiences with my sisters, new and old and I look forward to creating many, many more.
In honor of my sisters, I would like someday soon, hopefully within a few months, to have a celebratory Sisterhood Dinner. I have mentioned it to Toya, Salma and Linisa, to get some ideas and so far this is what I have come up with. First of all I want it to look like either this,
I envision either a really long dinner table beautifully decorated, or the second seating arrangement pictured above. I am still trying to figure, if we should go all out and get it catered, or have each lady cook a dish in love and bring it. I envision all of us (about 30) wearing white, breaking bread and sharing stories amongst this beautiful setting, with music serenading us in the background.
Now all of my sisters are scattered across the globe, so in order for me to do this I would definitely want them to all be on Antiguan soil. I just hope our schedules allow this. I am sending out an S.O.S to Natty, Aminah, Stephanie, Wendy, Sabriyah, Winnielle, all my sisters who are not here, to let me know when they think they will be available. It probably can’t happen this year, but early planning can’t hurt.
I want to be around women who I find inspiring, who don’t take pleasure in tearing each other down, but building each other up. I want us to celebrate one another and encourage each other, and if this dinner turns out as amazing as I know it can, who knows, maybe we can do it every year.
I love you guys.